back on the 'roids.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

I'm back on prednisone. In February the pharmacy messed up and didn't order my Asacol HD. I had to take the lower dosage of Asacol for a weekend, and it completely messed up my entire system. I had been fairly okay before the mix up, but it all went downhill from there. I completely relapsed into my flare-up. I got back on the HD Asacol after a few days, but it just wasn't the same. And now I'm back on my steroids. This coming Tuesday I'm meeting with another (different) surgeon. My GI still disagrees with my feeling of needing surgery, but I just don't know what else to do anymore. He thinks this surgeon will disagree with me just as the last one did.

I'm just lost. I've been on my steroids for about a week and am already experiencing some of the terrible side effects. My emotions are out of control and I can't sleep. I started a new job recently and have already had to leave work once because of my UC. No one understands, and I can't explain it to them. It's so weird. Total TMI moment if I really explained to them what my disease is.

"You're too young to have ulcers."
"You're telling me...I've had them since I was 17..."

I don't know what to do.

i hate doctors.

why can't i force myself to make an appointment with my GI even though I'm experiencing ridiculous, terrible pain?

i hate doctors.
hate them
hate them
hate them.

i hate that they still get paid even if they can't find out what's wrong with you.
i hate that they will get paid even if they can't make you better if they do find out what's wrong with you.
i hate that they're so pompous about 99.9% of the time.


ugh.

i don't want to go back and be told that no one is going to perform this surgery on me.
i don't want the #1 think on my mind at all times to be where the bathroom is located in a new location, and how fast I can get there without looking weird.

*sigh*