flex sig.

So I had my flex sig. done last week. I chose to be put under anesthesia because I didn't want to have to deal with feeling SUPER degraded being awake during such a procedure. The prep consisted of drinking 1 bottle of magnesium citrate and giving myself 2 enemas 2 hours before my procedure. I got the magnesium citrate down in two big chugs. No problem there. I was expecting something close to the prep I had to do for a colonoscopy, but no. It took about 5 hours for it to start doing ANYTHING and it still wasn't that bad. I was actually kind of concerned that I wasn't going to be cleaned out enough for the procedure. The enemas were worse though. I don't know who thought it was a good idea for someone with ULCERS (aka open fucking wounds) in their colon to basically fucking squirt salt water into them. It was painful and extremely uncomfortable putting it mildly. I probably did half of each bottle. I knew I wasn't going to be able to do any more. My mom called the doctor to make sure I was going to be prepped enough for the procedure and they told me to come on in. I got back rather quickly and was told that my doctor was going to have to "feel around" to make sure I was cleaned out enough. I was pretty pissed. I mean...that was the entire reason I was choosing to go under anesthesia anyway, was so I didn't have to have my doctor "feel around" anything inside of me :gags:

I was wheeled back to the procedure room and was very glad to find out that my doctor wasn't going to be doing any "feeling around" I was put under and the procedure was underway! I remember waking up and stumbling to the restroom....then going shopping with my mom and picking up my prescription and getting food. I felt fine!

My mom said they showed her some pictures and I was perfectly cleaned out, which I still can't believe. My doctor came to the conclusion that "The Apriso is not working." FUCKING DUH DUDE! So I was put on prednisone.

I don't like to admit it though, as much as I hate them ... steroids are currently my best friend.

The first thing I told my current doctor when I met with him was that I did not want, under any circumstances, to be put on steroids, EVER AGAIN. When I first was diagnosed I was put on prednisone. It, among other medicines, made me better. However, I started to grow a moustache, and I got cushing's syndrome. I looked RIDICULOUS. I know it sounds vain of me, but no girl wants those things to happen, let's be real.

At any rate, I have another appointment with my doctor this coming Tuesday. That will be two weeks of the steroids, so it shouldn't be enough time to develop the symptoms I had last time. I remember him telling me before starting my procedure that if we found that the Apriso hadn't been working I would be put on steroids. Then we would have to make an appointment to discuss other medicine options (since we've already found two that don't work...) that I guess have the potential to have more serious side effects. *sigh*

Just cut my fucking colon out and lets be done with this kay?

so much pain.

I am suffering right now. I need to be put out of my misery. I have made over 10 trips (make that 12...) to the bathroom within the hour.

I have an appointment in one week for a "flexible signoidoscopy". From what I understand, it's a step down from a colonoscopy. You don't need to be under anesthesia for the procedure, but I'm choosing to be put under regardless.

I'm really nervous.....

I feel like my insides are lava...

Tonight has been a god-awful night with the ulcerative colitis. As I briefly mentioned in my last post, that I've been on a medicine that isn't making my symptoms any better.

Well. I thought it wasn't making my symptoms any better. Turns out, it might have been helping, even if just a little bit.

I was very busy last night, and today, and forgot, for the first time in the 6 months I've been prescribed this medicine, to take it.

I'm now paying the price.

I've been absolutely miserable for a good 4 hours. It is taking me back to when I first got my UC symptoms and everyone, myself included, thought I was dying. It's calming down a bit now, but I swear to a god which I don't even believe in, if my doctor can't make me better soon, I'm going to lose my mind.

i just don't understand...

With almost all jobs in the world, the person employed does not get paid unless they fully complete their job to the satisfaction of their clients, customers, etc.

Can someone please tell me then, why the FUCK my doctor keeps getting to take all my money when he can't actually make me better? You know what, he doesn't even have to cure me, I realize that isn't under his control (whether or not a disease is cureable) but the motherfucker can't even find a medicine to make me better. On top of that, whenever I go into his office he tries to pry for reasons that would be my own fault why my UC isn't going into remission.

"Have you been taking your medicine?"
*sigh* "Yes, every single day since you've prescribed it."
"Wow, are you sure? You haven't missed a single day?"
"Nope."
"Oh...well maybe its *blah blah blah insert random excuse here*"

It's so frustrating....

This will be good...

...for everyone out there curious about UC and those wondering about the story of others who have had the disease.

..and for me. Because I need to record my horror stories...even if it is just to empty cyberspace.